# Non-Violent Communication / NVC

# NVC

Context: Abishek's session at LC day 2.

## Why is NVC needed?
- We don't embrace conflict enough.
- Building community + Trust
- p = P - i(performance = Potential - interference)

## Myths about Conflict
- Conflicts are avoidable
- Conflicts are bad
- Unhealthy people get into conflicts

Use of force is violence

Metta : Loving kindness

Trigger hijacks us - Abigdula/reptilian brain takes over

Reptilian brain has 4 responses
- Fight
- Flight
- Freeze
- Flurry

Identification
- Body Tightens
- Breath quickens
- You get feelings.

When you get triggered
- Pause: Slow down
- Do drills(Breath, drink water)

You
- Behavior(what you can see/what a camera can record)
- Feelings
- Needs

When I see you do *this*, I feel *this*. What I need is *this*. 
Do this with Honesty and Compassion.

## What is Violence
- Language that disconnects is violence - life enhancing vs not life enhancing
	- Diagnosis
	- Judgement
	- Analysis
	- Criticism
	- Comparison
	- Labeling
	- Denial of responsibility(You made me feel _____)
	- Demand (You should/you must)
	- Deserve Language

When someone is attacking, there is a need of that person that is not getting fulfilled.

Request has to be specific.

Clearing conversation, Debrief

Observation - Feelings - Needs - Request
Interpretation - Judgement - No connection - Strategy - 


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### Tags
#communication #lc #literature-notes #mad #nvc